I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We have started to decorate penises.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize