More tranny stories later!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
