similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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