i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
