I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize