I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
