I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
