Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
