haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
