Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do vagina's smell?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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