I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
