Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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