I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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