ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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