yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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