I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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