i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
