u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
