It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
