He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize