Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize