I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
