Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
