I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
