He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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