That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
