Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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