I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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