the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
