Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
