I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
