your room smells of hookers.
And success
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
