YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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