What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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