oh god the rape fog is back!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
