I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
