I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
