I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
