Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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