I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
