I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
