im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
