I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
