So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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