I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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