I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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