Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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