Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize