Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
