i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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