I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
