whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
