Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize