So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
