Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
